It's Not About Politics!...or is it?

    

     The past couple of weeks I've been struggling with what I want to share on my Blog page, hence the delay since my last post.  I have plenty of things to write about, but everything seems sort of depressing and negative. This is not a direction I want to go in, or if I do (because we all have bad weeks, right?), I want to end on an uplifting note. I have been feeling a little down about things lately, partly due to the obvious stuff going on in the country, but also because how these things are symbolic of what's happening in my own life. Translation: I feel like for years I've been spinning my wheels, trying to move in a positive direction, hoping all of the struggle is leading to something profound and wonderful.  However, with some setbacks as of late (which I'll get into at another time), I  feel like I move a few steps forward only to fall a hundred steps back. Not so different from what's happening in our country. I can't help but think back to 8 years ago and how full of hope I was for myself, my friends and family, my country. Sadly, today, I have lost that hope.  The chaos, division,  insanity, and as one journalist put it, "state of routine calamity", are causing a deep unrest in our nation and in our souls. It leaves me feeling unsettled, and yes, somewhat hopeless. 
     I promised myself, and others, that I would keep this blog from getting political. I want my stories to be meaningful and inspirational (two things politics are not),  but being someone that "lives fiercely", I have to write about whatever I'm feeling at any given moment. Right now, well,  I'm feeling like I have to speak my truth. I know I've already subjected many of you  to my rantings and ravings on Facebook-it's been pointed out to me that I should tone that down. I've also been told lately that I have become  extremely emotional, angry, irritable, and quick to lash out ... Zero to 10 in a heartbeat (my response being- I’m actually always at 8, I just try to keep a lid on it).  It's all true-I have been more emotional and irritable, I am lashing out, and I am ranting and raving.  It's not like me, not at all. I am the first to admit I've always been sensitive and defensive, but political?  NEVER.  I have never in my life taken an extreme political stance (until now), nor did I care about politics.  I didn't vote in my first election till I was in my 30s, and even then I voted for a (gasp!!) Republican.  I never really cared one way or the other who was in office, as long as they were a good person.  The political world never really affected me, and I am ashamed to admit I didn't even understand most of it. As a struggling artist and musician, I have always been in the lower middle class, so no matter who was in office my monetary situation never changed. Back in my younger days I didn't care about health insurance, and I was too self absorbed to worry about things like the environment or world peace. All that changed when I decided to become an adult.  Things that didn't used to matter suddenly have become urgent, affecting me in ways I never dreamed. Or maybe it's that I know myself better, and I am holding on to my core values and beliefs for dear life. It took a long time for me to get out of my self indulgent haze and realize what is important in this world. For years I made poor and selfish choices, traveled from one toxic relationship to the next, and let people talk down to me or talk me into things that I didn't really want. Now, in the wake of what is going on in our country, I have suddenly found my truth, and not only have I raised my voice, but sometimes I want to shout out this truth from the top of a mountain.  Believe me, it's taken me by surprise, because I was always the first one to agree to disagree and say: "No politics or religion" between friends and family or at the dinner table.  The thing is, I still don't feel like it's political. This is not about me being some left wing liberal loon. This is about what's RIGHT and what's WRONG!!  This is about our country being led right now with no morals or values, no class or respect or compassion for the less fortunate, and things being in a perpetual state of crisis. It's triggered something, not just in me, but in millions of others like me. We are people who have maybe fallen on hard times, or have been subjected to bullying, misogyny, sexual harassment, racism and just plain awful toxicity.  Maybe we have been pushed around one too many times, and we just can't take it anymore.  We are finally speaking our truth, and these truths are detrimental not just to us, but to our future generation.  I don't have my own children, but I have a niece and two nephews that are my everything, and I also care deeply for the children of my friends and relatives. In ten or twenty years these children will be adults, and I am thinking now of the world I want them to live in. I want them to breathe clean air and drink safe water and eat food not poisoned by pesticides and GMOs. I want them to have access to affordable health care, and in case, God forbid, my niece inherits my gene for migraines, I want her to get the care she needs without worrying about pre-existing conditions. Most of all, I want my niece and other young women to live in a world where men give them equal opportunities and don't talk down to them, or worse,  justify non-consensual "locker room banter"(Is that really a thing? Gross...another blog topic).   I want these young women to know that there are decent, loving, wonderful men (and women) in this world, and they should never settle for less.  I also want my nephews and other young men to have responsible and RESPECTFUL role models. I don’t want them to be bullied, or even worse, become bullies. I want them to learn they should accept and treat everyone equally.  I want all these children to have everything their hearts desire, despite race, gender, and religious/spiritual (or lack thereof) beliefs. I want them to know that the person who leads our country (be it man, woman, Republican or Democrat)  should be kind, classy, educated, respectful, tolerant, and HONEST! I want them to know that equality, dignity, and diversity are, to quote one of my favorite writers, John Pavlovitz, "Hills Worth Dying On". Nothing you hold true in your heart should be negotiated just to "broker an uneasy peace".  
     Are these things I’m wanting so bad? Aren’t they based on quality values, morals, and integrity?  Why has being a person of good character and standing up for my beliefs turned me into a "whiner"?  Why in the world are we putting up with this craziness? And that, my friends, is the trigger for me.  For so much of my life I put up with crap--crazy, controlling, narcissistic people, and I will not subject myself to that kind of toxic behavior ever again. Why should anyone put up with that? Why should we put up with it from the  President of our country?!  When is this going to stop? What more can we do? I feel like we have gone back about 50 years. That is the real tragedy in all of this. Similar to my own life, we took, I thought, huge steps forward, only to fall thousands of steps back in time. 
     If any of my Republican friends are reading this, I want you to know that this is not me lashing out at you. I don't hate Republicans. I understand that you voted for your party. I respect that people have different political views, especially fiscally.  I would be just as passionate about this if we were dealing with a crazy Democrat in the oval office.  This has nothing to do with the political affiliation, and everything to do with character.  Since last November I have been somewhat outraged, wondering how it is people in our country can want anything less than the things I've mentioned. It has become impossible for me to look anyone in the eye who still supports this lunacy.  So, my friends, if I offend you with my blog or posts, unfollow me or unfriend me if you must. But I hope you don't, as I have chosen each and every one of you as my friend because you are all valuable human beings. I may not know some of you very well, maybe we only met one time or just have mutual friends, but I feel strongly that you are all groovy, special, and beautiful people, regardless of your political or spiritual affiliations.  I wish only the best for all of us and for our country in these tumultuous times. And if one good thing has come from all of this, it is the banding together of those of us who are raising our voices. I have discovered a place inside of me and others like me that I never knew existed, and frankly, I'm glad. 

Peace, Love, and Namaste,

Sunnie